There's an ongoing sorrow that seeps from some dark place with in. . . Usually I fight it off but sometimes. . . sometimes I can't win. I try to push it back down, down deeply inside but it gets so hard to manage, so difficult to try to hide. You read it on my face but, when you ask what's wrong, I'll just push it back in. I'll say nothing. . . force a sorry ass attempt at a grin. Quickly I'll look away, gaze off. . . to avoid your eyes. . . because for some reason just one glance is enough to make me lose all composure, and I don't want to cry. Really I don't want you to see, don't want you to know. . . what's deep down inside, I'd rather not show. I want you to be happy, even. . . even when I'm down. For it only hurts worse to know that on your beautiful face, that I caused that furrow, that frown. Please don't be concerned, I'll be just fine. . . I'll be ok. I thank god for each and every new dawn, every new day. Life is a blessing, a gift which I won't refute. . . a chance some never get, one that's far too precious and far too easy to lose.

So. . . I'll keep on fighting, a constant raging battle, my own personal war. I am my very own army, an unstoppable force. I'll struggle with all of my being. . . I'll fight with every pore. Engaged in endless combat, I'll fight till I can fight no more. Won't be beaten down or broken, won't give up or give in. I refuse to surrender so easily, to the demons that lie with in. The darkness won't consume me, the sadness. . . it won't win. I'll battle on through, struggling until the very end. So there's no need to worry, no cause to be alarmed. . . really all I need is for you to hold me. . . in the sanctuary of your arms. Feeling you breathing. . . slowly, your body. . . so warmly against mine. I close my eyes and just listen to the sound of you're heart beating. . . nothing could be more sublime. The storm with in me quiets, the winds soften to a gentle breeze. You're the calm in the midst of all of my turbulence. . . the calm in my stormy seas. So just pull me close. . . hold me tight, I don't think anything will ever feel more perfect, more right. I'm here to hold you too because I know. . . that just like me, there's a war raging on there inside of you. You're fighting your own private battles, you have your own thrashing demons just waiting for you to falter. . . waiting for the chance to make you fall. Just a wee small side effect of humanity, contained deep down within us all.